Do I enjoy making a big plate of nachos and watching episodes of World’s Funniest Porn Bloopers?
You betcha!
Archive for January, 2012
Her Immediate Thought: “What Kind of Dumbass Question is That?”
January 31, 2012Whereupon Rick Became the Butt of Every Pirate Joke Imaginable
January 27, 2012
Within days of her final electroshock therapy treatment, the office was all abuzz with talk of Jeanine’s transformation from moody, uptight receptionist prone to all afternoon crying jags all the way to the most chilled out babe in the building. Until the day Rick spilled coffee on her favorite Fair Isle sweater and then, well, even Taffy is too squeamish to report the details.
Rick was back in the office two weeks later, still adjusting to his eye patch, and Jeanine was checked in to Happy Pines Daycare Center for Adults With Emotional Needs, where she insists that everyone call her Cinnamon and teaches Wednesday afternoon knitting classes.
Xanax: Works Like a Charm On Even The Toughest Days
January 26, 2012
The day Betty’s husband Bob admitted he was leaving her for a border patrol agent named Irene, he also let loose an expletive-laden tirade about all the ways she made him miserable that would make a truck driver blush. While floating in her drug-induced “happy place” as Bob cursed up a storm, she gently lifted her hand and practically whispered, “Who me?” as if Bob was playing the funniest little game in the world.
Who Knows What Wednesday Will Bring
January 25, 2012
Janie and Julie enjoy their mid-morning chat session by the file cabinet at the law office of Bindle, Blarkey, Linder & Flurck. Janie loved Julie’s talent for accessorizing, her sensitive ways, and the soft curves of her delicate figure in that pleated red dress. While Julie prattles on about the new secretary Jillian and that trampish blue eye shadow she insists on wearing, Janie thinks about how delicious it would be to french kiss her right there in the office, smack in the middle of a boring Tuesday morning.
Who Says You Can’t Be Stylish During a Drug Deal?
January 24, 2012
Before heading downtown to pick up her month’s supply of black market Percocet, Deirdre opts for a rhinestone-button dress and faux leopard handbag. Its boxy shape and sturdy bamboo handle means she has enough room for a fat wad of cash and her favorite Chanel lipstick. After one final look in the mirror and a perky nod of approval, Deirdre tosses her handbag over her shoulder and steps out into the sun, ready to take on the world.
Feels Like the First Day of School
January 23, 2012
Having just left her husband Cliff after a confession that is still a hot topic of discussion at the Belle Haven Country Club, Cherie tries on a few different outfits before heading out to her first lesbian singles party. By the time she was on her way, her bed was piled high with half her wardrobe, and that sturdy gold bangle was replaced with a small string of pearls – the perfect touch of dainty for a gal lookin’ for love.
Small Consolation For a Gal With Big Dreams
January 22, 2012
Having flubbed her lines, sneezed, and slipped off the purple satin bed cover one too many times with a decidedly un-sexy thud, Jolene was ordered off set and told her career in the adult video trade was over. At least she’ll make it on the blooper reel…
