Trish:  “I love getting spanked!”

Charlotte:  “I love having my hair pulled!”

Joyce took one last look around the jewelry department at Dillard’s before swiping a triple-strand pearl bracelet to go with the necklace she lifted the week before.

“So….do you mind when a man cries during sex?”

Whenever her sister Janie insisted on going over all the plans and details of her upcoming 300-guest, Cinderella-themed wedding, Jonie pulled up her hoodie and did all she could not to roll her eyes or yawn.

For the longest time, she wore yellow everyday and insisted that everyone call her “Sunshine.”

Until June 2, 1977, when the Captain & Tennille show was cancelled and she lost her modeling contract with Tame Cream Rinse. Within days, she went back to being Martha Linkleburn and returned to her old job as a check-out clerk at Piggly Wiggly.

Today, she’s Regional Manager in Charge of Pork Distribution and owns a sprawling 3000-square foot ranch style house on five acres.

1. Fuchsia and gold geometric print zip-up cardigan

2. Farrah Fawcett hair

3. Fully-loaded shotgun in the middle of Central Park

“Damnit, Bruce has been raiding my closet again.  He’s ruined 26 outfits over the past six years.  How many dresses do I have to lose before he snaps out of it?”

Having woken up in a particularly feisty mood and downed three double espressos before 9:00am, Beverly heads downtown with her largest clutch, ready for her Friday “Treasure Hunt.”

“Wanna pet my Minky?”

Imogene’s friends were transfixed as she stood quietly – as if in a sunset-induced trance – while her husband Perry began to bump and grind with their daughter’s college roommate right in the middle of their nephew’s pirate-themed Bar Mitzvah. By the time Perry had moved out and relocated to a one-bedroom condo, the punch line of the story had turned to, “And then Imogene gave Perry the old heave-ho and off the plank he went! Aaaarrggggh!”